Sent: Thursday, March 09, 2000 12:51 PM Subject: [Encina Update] Encina Update (alumni party/reunions/65/70/75/80/81/85/90/95/responsibility/applebee/siblings/search/whats new) ENCINA ALUMNI, Thanks to all of you who wrote about "responsibility". I've run your responses after the reunion section of the update. ALUMNI PARTY Linda Weatherford Ballance 62 wrote to the encina1962 group: "For those of you that are not aware, on the 18th of March there is going to be an Alumni Party for all classes. I know a lot of you live to far away to attend, but, there are a few of you like myself and my cousin that could make it. It sounds like a fun evening and I have convinced a couple of my sons, some of their friends, and my cousin Sheran Weatherford Yeager to go. Try to make it! If you would like to go and don't want to show up alone, give me a call (number is in the class directory), and you will be more than welcome to go with Sheran and I. One of my sons has already volunteered to be "designated driver." Ha!" I met Linda at the Homecoming 99 party last year. Linda brought her entire family with her, including her Encina sons Chris, Lance, Mark and Bryan. Her cousin Sheran was there with her son Bill, also an Encina grad. Plus they brought along various Encina friends. And to top it off, Linda drove her convertible in the homecoming game parade at half time. A true Encina family! Here's the scoop on the party from organizer Lucia Churches '73: "Here's the scoop on the First Annual Mid-Year Encina Alumni Party... (big fun, don't miss it!!) DATE: Saturday, March 18, 00 TIME: 5 p.m. to whenever the last person falls off their bar stool PLACE: Mandangos, 1310 Fulton Avenue at Hurley (in the Rite Aid Shopping Center) (916) 487-2984 (in case you get lost) All Encina classes are invited...tell a friend (as they say)! Hope everyone can join us for a great night of fun and frolic. Please RSVP directly to: Lucia Churches Class of 73 (I don't feel that old) loosha@pacbell.net (916) 369-2505 work I'll be out of town from February 27 to March 12, so please leave me an e-mail with your response. I need to give Mandangos a head count by March 13." REUNIONS Kudos to Gloria Reynolds 70 for stepping forward and volunteering to chair the 30 year reunion for the class of 70. If anyone knows the whereabouts of Pam Thomas Deason 70, please get in touch as she has the class mailing list from the 25 year reunion. Time is running out for the classes of 65, 85 and 95... 1965 REUNION There's been lots of activity on the 65 mailing list expressing interest in a 35 year reunion this year. Has anyone contacted George Hullin to see what's happening? George is on the 65 mailing list but I haven't seen any responses from him. Give him a call! If you are interested in having a reunion this year please contact George Hullin at george.hullin@hrh.com or 916-488-1400. You can also send mail to encina1965@egroups.com as I've added George to the Encina Update and class mailing list. 1970 REUNION As I mentioned earlier, Gloria Reynolds has volunteered to chair the 30 year reunion committee. Responses from classmates have started to trickle in from the class mailing list. The biggest problem is locating the class mailing list, which Tom Henley said is in the hands of Pam Thomas Deason 70. Anyone know how to contact her? Write encina1970@egroups.com if you are interesting in attending and/or helping to organize the 30 year reunion. 1975 REUNION Where: Sutter Club When: Saturday, July 15, 2000 Contact Jenny Bender Bittner at jedb@pacbell.net 1980 REUNION The 80 class mailing list is by far the most active in the school, with almost 700 messages! Where: The Firehouse When: Saturday, October 14, 2000 Contact: encina1980@egroups.com 1981 REUNION Melissa Tovar and the reunion committee met this week in their first reunion committee meeting. August 11, 2001 has been set as the tentative date for their 20 year reunion next year. 1985 REUNION No news regarding the elusive Melinda Cope 85. Do we have any other reunion committee members present? Send email to encina1985@egroups.com if you are interesting in attending and/or helping organize the 15 year reunion. 1990 REUNION I was disappointed to hear from Denyce Bellinger that there doesn't seem to be much interest from her classmates in having a 10 year reunion this year. Say it ain't so. If you are interested in helping or attending the 10 year reunion this year please contact Denyce at tiniegrrl@Aol.com 1995 REUNION Do we have anyone from the reunion committee on the mailing list? Please write encina1995@egroups.com if you're interesting in attending and/or helping to organize the 5 year reunion. RESPONSIBILITY Last week I wrote: "And on the subject of responsibility, what do you think about the six year old boy who killed his female classmate at school with a gun he found lying around at home?" Here are the responses I received: Michele Horton Noller 88 wrote: "I was sick in bed when I saw this on CNN. I could not believe what I was hearing. A six year old child getting that angry and shooting another child. Where are the parents in all of this? That was my first question. Who is raising this child? Why has he not learned some of the fundamental ideas of controlling his temper? And what blooming idiot left a gun laying about for a small child to wander upon and find? And why did they not find out about the missing gun until it was too late? Are these people brain dead? But after hearing that this child was not going to be held accountable for his actions. Nor were the parents. What is this? I do not think he should be tried as an adult or given the death penalty. But obviously he is not learning the right things at home. Mom and Dad should be held accountable for his actions to some extent due to his age. They should have to serve time and lose any other children they have (cannot recall if they had other children) for contribuatory negligence or indifference that caused the death of another human being. This could mean Manslaughter charges in some states. But this is not mean the child should be let off scott-free. He obviously needs to be punished and taught right from wrong. Place him in a facility where he may get the necessary supervision that he needs to learn this primary of life's lessons. What he did was hideously sad. Otherwise we are going to pay for him and others like him for the rest of their limited lives. And this bull about people coming from a bad environment then they should not be held accountable for their actions. This is crap. I am sorry. I was physically and sexually abused by my stepfather and uncle from age 2 to age 14. I have managed to live a somewhat sane life. I have two girls that know I love them and would never do anything to harm them. But they also know that I am a strict mom. I believe in teaching my girls responsibility- both personal as well as taking an active role in things around you. If my oldest were to have done something like this, I would insist that she pay some sort of penalty. Kim was 4 when she took something from a Target. She wanted these barrettes really badly. I told her no. She hid them in her shirt while I was paying for our items. When we got out to the parking lot, I noticed she was clutching her sweatshirt. I asked her if there was something wrong. She did not answer and would not look me in the face. When I lifted her up to help her in our truck, the barrettes fell to the round. I was so mad. I made her take them back into the store and apologize to the store manager. Then I made store security take her into their office and they called the sheriff. The sherriff came out expecting some teen and was faced with my preschooler. They were not going to do anything until I pointed out that they could be back in a few years if we did not nip it in the bud now. So the took my baby by the hands, handcuffed her and informed her that people who steal go to jail. It scared her and I felt bad about doing this, but I was more afraid of what would happen if I did not get the message across the first time it happened. There are those out there that will probably think I am a harsh mom, but I will tell you this much, my oldest never stole anything else in her life. She is a straight A GATE student, is a Girl Scout Patrol Leader, intensely into soccer and karate, and an all around awesome kid. She is not into lying, disrespecting me or anything else. I do not have to spank my child. I am now a single parent and am raising both girls on my own. I have to play both good parent and bad parent. I am what they have. If I do not watch what goes on and all of that, then who will. That is why I am so offended when I hear, "oh little johnny comes from a broken home" or "little suzy's mom is a single parent and does not have a lot of money". I say bull. I am one and I volunteer with Girl Scouts, spend time at my child's school, and make time for my kids between work and going to school. It can be done. It is a matter of priorities. Children are no longer a priority anymore. We want to explain everything away instead of trying to address the issues and be proactive so that we do not have the Columbines and such. Personal responsibility is something else that people have forgotten. We must act with this ourselves before we can teach it to our children. How else are they going to learn if we do not teach it to them? Sorry so long. I will get off my soap box now. This stuff just pushes so many buttons. ... The last I heard they were considering negligence charges but not the kind I referred to. In many states if you by your lack of common sense action or other type of action that you could be held responsible contributed to the commission of a crime such as murder they can get you for manslaughter1 or 2. It is called culpable manslaughter. In all honesty I hope they do hold them accountable. I have two little ones and it scares me that something like this could happen to them because a classmate basically has a temper tantrum while armed. It would kill me to lose my girls. They are my life and I could not imagine what the parents of the little girl is going through. And like I said if it was my child who did something even half as horrific as this, I would be her worst nightmare. I would be encouraging the law to handle things. I love my kids, but I do not believe in allowing your children to get away with these kinds of things. It just leads to worse things. And I still want to know where the parents were in all of this. What has this kid been taught at home?" Dawna Spivey Hunter 85 wrote: "I would love to reply to the six year old shooting! I teach that age group! The teachers I work with are all shocked at what happened. And I guess to ease the scary reality, they joke about needing to frisk kids before they enter our rooms. Your point about responsibility for one's actions is something I'm trying to teach these little ones almost on a daily basis. Your words can hurt another's feelings. Your actions (rough hands) can hurt another person. I didn't think I needed to try to teach gun safety. I already include fire safety and drug education. This is really a hot topic.... I'll be interested to see how much mail you get. Anger management for 6 year olds must be needed when they have such poor role models to follow. I really had this pie in the sky dream of becoming a teacher. Thinking that my responsibility would be to teach children the three R's... Well I guess we have to add another R. Responsibility! A 6 year old should be held responsible for killing another person. I'm not sure where I would send the child. But he needs something as a punishment." Robyn Gentle Shill 89 wrote: I saw the story on the news and I can't say I was surprised. Unfortunately incidents like this are all too common these days. I had the same reaction that you did, that could have been my daughter, she is almost six. I can understand why the child was not punished he probably wasn't aware of the danger that was involved in bringing a weapon to school. I say this because I wonder what kind of parents leave a loaded weapon around the house where their children have full access to it. Obviously the kind that doesn't teach their children about the dangers of such things. The parents should face murder charges for this terrible accident. I can't imagine what that little girl's parents are going through. After all isn't that one of our greatest fears as a parent that we will out live our children." Mike Samoville 64 wrote: On another bent, even the venerable NRA has been behind a move for mandatory locks or locked storage for firearms. They also pushed for laws that would punish people who allowed a firearm to fall into the hands of a prohibited individual or child, through negligence. The hang up in congress was the attempt of some of the liberal anti-gunners to attach riders to that bill and the juvenile justice bills, which sought several types of registration schemes, banning of certain weapons by whimsy of a bureaucrat and various taxes. As a retired (over 20 years) police officer, and a life-lone hunter and target shooter, I have almost always backed the NRA's attempts to clarify things and help us get the REAL story. The problem isn't a lack of laws, there are plenty that are on the books that are not being enforced. It's also a breakdown in today's society, both generally and in the schools. There's nothing like spending two decades on the streets, working on the "Ted" (Bundy) and Green River Killer task-forces to shatter the rose-colored glasses. Sorry, once I get started on the subject...enough said for now. Betsy Dozier Salomon 73 wrote: I thought I would give you an update about the 1st grader who shot his classmate, since it happened in this part of the country (60 miles away?) and the papers are full of it. Yesterday's headline in the paper described his home as "Shameful": his father is in jail on parole violation (the original crime was burglary) and his mother was evicted from their home (she works in a mall) and sent him and his 8 year old brother to live with their uncle. (The mother had already been investigated for abusing the 8 year old). The uncle (21 years old?) is probably a drug dealer and his roommate (19 years old?) kept the loaded gun in his bed and waved it in the boys' faces for "entertainment". (The uncle and roommate are the ones under arrest. There appears not to be any crime with which the mother could be charged for sending them there.) The home was filthy and the boys didn't even have beds to sleep in. Their own father described it as a crack house. The boy had been in trouble at school previously for bullying other children and stabbing another with a pencil. I don't think anyone really wants to charge the child with anything (there was a notorious case decided here within the last two months about an 11 year old who shot and killed a stranger and was tried as an adult, and I think that is on everyone's minds) and in a way he never had a chance to develop normally with a background like that. He appears not to have understood the finality of what he did. (Did you understand death when you were 6?) Anyway, now that I'm a parent too, the idea of anything happening to my little girls breaks my heart. But right now they're safe in their beds (napping) and I will regret the day when I have to tell them that the world really isn't as nice as they find it right now. ... Following up on what you wrote, there was an article in the paper today about the boy's family and the crime connections are even worse than I told you. Even his GRANDMOTHER is a crack dealer. About the little girl, they say the usual things about how she was so sweet, always laughing, and I'm sure all that's true. My husband and I had a discussion about something similar recently and by coincidence, because he had a sister who died (of leukemia) when she was 10 and he was 11. He said that there's not really that much you can say about a child that young since they haven't had their chance to leave their mark in the world, and it's their families to whom they seem unique. Beyond that, what you could say about a child, you could say about any child. But an ugly fight is developing about the 1st grader's "estate" because her parents (divorced, I guess) are already fighting about who controls it. Even though Kayla (her name) had no money (and seems to be from a family of no means), her father says he intends to sue the school district and the gun manufacturer. He is being represented by Jeffrey Fieger, who you may have heard of (he's notorious around here), who represented Jack Kevorkian (the assisted suicide doctor) and represents at least one of the families whose son was murdered in the Littleton shooting, and the 11 year-old I mentioned yesterday and sued the Jenny Jones show for humiliating the guy who killed the man who had a "gay crush" on him which was revealed on the air. (He also ran for Governor in 1998 against the Republican incumbent John Engler (father of triplet girls!) and got clobbered. The day Engler heard who his opponent would be must have been the happiest day of his political life.) Funeral services for Kayla are this weekend and there was a public service yesterday attended by over 1000. Many who attended were strangers to her and many took their children (it was open casket). (I strongly disagree with parents doing that, but I seem to be in the minority.) Anyway, I don't know what if anything you would tell your children about all that, and these are things I haven't had to think about yet, but my day will come. I thought I got off easy last year when I didn't have to explain that our dog died. Denyce Bellinger 90 wrote: As a psych major I understand why the little boy can't be "Punished" in the way some think a murder should be punished. He's like 6! What do you want then to do? He just knows he is a bad boy . . . and Yes comming from a bad family does have a VALID impact! Why do you think childeren who are beat grow up to beat their kids, and the like. If you don't think it is unusual you probably won't have the same sense of right and wrong. A child can be like a puppy; jumping puppies are cute, jumping 60 lb dogs are not so cute. Kids who do bad things are tolerated as a child but when they do the same things a sadults it is not so easily excused. In other words the situation is really terrible from all sides!! I have not a clue what they should do but taking the child from it's family would be a start! Thanks to all of you who took the time to write and share your perspective. Anyone else? APPLEBEE'S As some of you know, Encina alumni were asked to donate Encina memorabilia to the Applebee's restaurant near Encina last year to be used as theme decoration. Linda Weatherford Ballance 62 wrote: "Has anyone been to the new Applebee's on Arden Way? They have sections in the restaurant that highlight local area high schools. The Encina section is nice as they have Apache and Bulldog memorabilia (you may remember the controversy at homecoming time........:o). In the glass case they have one of the Baccalaureate Announcements from the class of "61" and hanging over the top of it they have my graduation tassel with "62" on it, and, also my charm bracelet that says "ENCINA HI". I won't get those items back, but, it is kind of nice seeing them displayed with all the other fun stuff." SIBLINGS Tim Essert 73 is in contact with: John Gardner 70 Jim Gardner 72 Sue Ann Gardner 75 Becky Gardner 81 Stan Watts 73 Tim Haeling ?? (write if you know his class year) Scott Ainsleigh 94 is in contact with: Jim Ritter Matt Ritter Seth Morgan Crystal Romo Cynthia Connell 73 wrote: Debi Connell 71 Cynthia Connell 73 Jenifer Connell 76 Cynthia Connell 73 is in contact with: Mark Garcia 73 Kathleen Jordan 72 Rene Hardre 74 Richard Hill 73 Pam Brand 90 is in contact with: Heather Martin 92 Bob Maples 70 is in contact with: Neil Hankin 70 Scott Harper 70 Chris Conrad 70 Tom Parks 70 Jim Nesselbush 70 Carol Brox 65 is in contact with: Jeanne Kern 65 Barbra McKee 65 Sue Hermann 65 Patience Thoreson 65 Skip Campbell 80 wrote: Sue Campbell 70 Scott Campbell 79 Skip Campbell 80 Skip Campbell 80 is in contact with: Bob Bell 80 Kevin Clark 80 ALUMNI SEARCH We located Amy Zausch 94 this week. Anyone know how to contact: Michelle Harvey 91 Teacher Susan Bush (Is she still at Encina?) WHAT'S NEW 3/8/00: Linh Vuong 94 update, Tom Parks 70, Mike Shower 69, Celeste Woo 73/74, Lori Wagner 80, Skip Campbell 80, Heather Martin 92 3/7/00: Cynthia Connell 73/bio, Jenifer Connell 76, Debi Connell 71, Brenda Horsley 90 update, John Joseph 65 update 3/6/00: Samantha Perez 90, Christine Moser 78, Wayne Johnson 78, Barbera Davis 80, Joe Ciotti 83 3/5/00: Shawna Terry 93, John Buchanan 69, John Gardner 70, Jim Gardner 72, Sue Ann Gardner 75, Rebecca Gardner 81, Dan Jeffrey 74 update, Laura McCluskey 74, Mark Hansen 70 update, Tracy Taylor 91/bio, Scott Ainsleigh 94/bio, Crystal Romo 95 3/2/00: Aaron Valencia 78/bio, Shivaun Essert 77/78, Pamela Tillson 72 bio, Dan Conner 93 update 3/1/00: Aaron Tello 88, Sharon Murray 75, Susan Hansen 68, Carol Hansen 71, John Scott Hansen 75, Kevin Wilson 73 update, Joe Jeffrey 73, Dan Jeffrey 74, Tom Jeffrey 75, Erik Olson 79 update, Bill Baumgart 78 update, Melodie Stephen 75, Jim Dallas 81, Marleen Edwards 82, Darleen Edwards 80, Ken Hall 63, Vanessa Williams 89, Tami Rhea 92, Gary Reynolds 61, Gayle Reynolds 67, Gloria Reynolds 70 Have a good weekend! Harlan Lau '73 Encina webmaster www.encinahighschool.com harlan@rambus.com